Previous England captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the World Cup champion 2003 side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to really process that at the moment," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or maybe I process things differently, and when I have the details, it's easier," he stated further.
First Signs
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the problem, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't sense ill. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be capable of doing whatever I want. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness kills a one-third of people within a year and over half within 730 days of identification, as eating and respiration become harder.
Treatment can only slow deterioration.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," added an moved Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two brilliant boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced removing the moisture off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody stated the priority was staying in the now.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be very militantly focused on just welcoming and appreciating each moment now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really lucky that the primary choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much time with the kids as attainable. We don't get those periods back."
Player Association
Elite competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies proposing the incidence of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is believed that by restricting the O2 obtainable and producing harm to motor neurone cells, regular, vigorous exercise can initiate the condition in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his fearless, persistent approach to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a practice gear and started engaging in collisions.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the set piece in the crucial moment of play, establishing a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding field goal.
Support Network
Moody has previously told Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the moment, just having that type of love and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a wonderful family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to label your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Achieving this for so long a duration with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will desire to assist in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
